uhm?

 

I am dazzled by the sky. always.

 

 

I've been sick for almost two weeks now and it's been miserable.

Because January is my month for nursery at church, and I LOVE nursery, especially on Sundays because there are so many more kids! I love kids, they are so much easier to get along with than adults. I was only in nursery three out of the four sundays that I was supposed to work. Now that, is just sad.

 

On lighter note, I'm feeling much better. I mean, I can hardly hear out of my left ear(ear infection or something?) but I had my first full nights sleep in three weeks last night! So its not all bad. Also, I got switched to the bass clef in bell choir, which makes me so incredibly happy, since I pick it up so much easier than I did the treble clef. I do miss my old treble clef neighbor though, Sarah was the best. Anyway, happiness, okay?

 

THIS: Pompeii  

seriously, a song about history. this is just so good.

please, just listen to this.

 

TWENTY-FOUR DAYS UNTIL NEW YORK. yayyayyyaay! I haven't been to New York for eight whole years, and that is an awfully long time. I am so excited to see all my New York cousins and aunts and uncles! I wish there was less time between now and then.

 

I don't like meetings or hats. or orange juice. or medicine.

I like summer and good books(I recently read The Selection... definitely a re-read!). also, water. and caramel.

I have this thing against colored toothpaste.

I think that by the ocean would be a cool place to live.

 

Okay, that's all. I just wanted to say hey.

Someday my post with lots of pictures will finally upload!

Until then, xoxo

-jkr-

 

p.s. I've decided that I just LOVE the blue.. a lot. Change is good.



I must see Jesus.

Oh, boy. This is a hard one. Stay strong, folks, stay close. 

A challenge from missionary Keith Hock: What is your reason for being in the Word and serving God? Is it your parents forcing you to? Your image within the church? Even your friends? Or is it this? 

I must see JESUS.

I must tell JESUS. 

I must serve JESUS. 

I must know JESUS. 

I must love JESUS. 

'This' is when you are serving Christ because you must, you can't even help it, you love Christ so much that you must serve Him, you must get to know Him better, you must tell Him all of your trials and joys. You must SEE Him in your life. When He becomes visible to you and to others through His work in your life! 

When your heart is half healed.

"God wants to be strong for you. He wants to show you His power. He wants to use your life to show others His power!" -- Lee Peterson, September 2012, 1 Chronicles 16:9, 2 Chronicles 16:11

When half of your heart is broken and half of it is healed. And you wonder if you will ever be whole again. The answer is, yeah you will be, and you know that because half of your heart is already healed and the rest is in progress. 

When you realize: that unless you let Christ be strong for you, healing won't come. It took me a year to realize that. A whole year of being broken and of being sad. To realize, the most simple thing, the one with you doing nothing but trusting, is what I needed. 

I'm not all healed. Half of me is still very sad. Half of me still looks back. Half of me still doesn't wanna believe. But the other half is trusting Christ and His strength. And I'm choosing to let my half-healed heart win. 

"You might be going through something hard. But here is the good news, Christ is in YOUR life!" -- Sam Slobodian, September 2012

We used to keep our hearts safe (a better way)

  I am a big Tenth Avenue North fan. And these two songs have been my heart's desire this past year. I'd love it if The Lord would reach down, Empty My Hands and Hold My Heart. :) I know that You are who You say You are. 

Empty My Hands

I've got voices in my head and they are so strong

And I'm getting sick of this oh Lord, how long

Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe

My hands like locks on cages

Of these dreams I can't set free

But if I let these dreams die

If I lay down all my wounded pride

If I let these dreams die

Will I find that letting go lets me come alive

So empty my hands

Fill up my heart

Capture my mind with you

These voices speak instead and what's right is wrong

And I'm giving into them, please Lord, how long

Will I be held captive by the lies that I believe

My heart's in constant chaos and it keeps me so deceived

But if I let these dreams die

If I could just lay down my dark desire

If I let these dreams die

Will I find you brought me back to life

So empty my hands

Fill up my heart

Capture my mind with you

'Cause my mind is like a building burning down

I need your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground

And my heart is just a prisoner of war

A slave to what it wants and to what I'm fighting for

So won't you empty my hands

Fill up my heart

Capture my mind with you

Empty my hands

Fill up my heart

Capture my mind with you

With you

I need you now, Lord. 

Hold My Heart

How long must I pray

Must I pray to You

How long must I wait

Must I wait for You

How long till I see Your face

See You shining through 

I'm on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You turn to me 

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart 

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes

So much can slip away before I say goodbye

But if there's no other way

I'm done asking why 

'Cause I'm on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, will You run to me, yeah

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart

So many questions without answers

Your promises remain

I can't see but I'll take my chances

To hear you call my name

To hear you call my name 

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart

One life, that's all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You're everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart

Hold my heart

Could You hold my heart

Hold my heart

Orange Monkeys and Mental Breakdown Sundaes. #getmeone!

I am really tired tonight. I think I've made a few "Orange Monkey" comments. Someone who has known me forever, looked at me and said "I think you should go to bed or something, cuz you're talking crazy." 

I am really lonely tonight. All my siblings(and bunk mates) are at a friends house. So I'm all alone(with my parents) in my house. I got a taste of what it meant to be an only child tonight, and it was good, but now it's bedtime and I don't have my sisters to protect me from snakes and scary monsters. 

I am really happy tonight. I've been in an unspoken argument with a friend for over a week now. I was mad at her for being mad at me for something I couldn't change. I was feeling pretty crappy about it because I didn't know how to fix the problem, until tonight, after ignoring me, she walked up to me and just started sobbing. So I hugged her and let her cry, and then she told how she was so stressed out with decisions she is having to make and how I had just scared her so bad, by making her think about the future. I apologized and told her that I wasn't making any life-altering decisions right now regarding what had scared her so bad about me. I think we both felt loads better. I think what I had 'done' was just the cherry on top of a mental breakdown sundae(I sound well versed in that because I make those often.. And most of the time out of myself). To the person who helped restore this friendship(you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are amazing. <3 

  Gorgeous sunset last night! PTL

For the first time. Since July 22nd, 2012. I'm starting to believe that good decisions were made that day. Four days short of a year, thank You Jesus. I like the direction my life is heading. 

Oh, how sweet it is to trust in Jesus.

"I think God's people are at their strongest when they are broken, because God can use them to do incredible things when they say, 'All I can do is rely on God.'" - Mark Stuart


I am continually amazed by how God uses broken people. 
How He takes messed up lives and makes beautiful creations. 
How He uses shame and mistakes to lead sinners to the Cross. 
How He turns fear and trembling into unshaken faith. 

He is indescribable, yet there are so many ways to name Him. 

He is Father.
Counselor.
Strong-tower.
Awesome.
Unfathomable.
Son.
Redeemer.
Jehovah Jirah.
Messiah.
Unbreakable.
Lamb of God.
Able.
Jesus Christ.
Unchangeable.
Faithful.
I AM. 
Saviour.
Forgiver.
Love.
King of Kings.
Kind.


and so so SO much more! The part that gets me the most though, He was made sin for us. The perfect One, was made sin FOR US! Doesn't that just grip you? Doesn't that just make you want to adore Him all the more? It does for me, oh, how it does for me! The love He has for all of us sinners drives me to want to love as much as He does. I want that for you too.

-Jyc-

  

Feel free to comment your favorite names and attributes of God.